THE SUICIDE COLLECTIVE 23

It’s a ‘what you don’t know won’t hurt you’ game plan

with a good dose of shame and blame

in a recycled modus operandi
and all designed to

divide and conquer

Dateline July 1996 (Woodslee Ontario, near Windsor)

My Dad would have loved Trump. Stoic, stubborn - ‘knows everything’ kinda guy w/a touch of torment, hatred of women and a penchant for payback. Sound familiar? The BIG man ... expensive suit, drives a BIG car and has a hot trophy wife (ok, you get it).

Payback

I mean ok (story is), he got right royally fucked over and so now they need to suffer (yawn) … listening still. It’s frikkin’ brutal. Rambling on about faggots on food stamps then about street blacks in Detroit getting what they deserve, (intoxicated at 2pm). Long awkward pause. "So Dad, just how is it that they deserve being dominated and oppressed"?

Listening to that pin drop in slow motion.

Even longer pause and that recurring look of death. Yikes! I'm in trouble now. I learned everything about the term "bleeding heart liberal" that day, and then there was no room for continued discussion on that subject. Court is adjourned.

Apparently? I disgust him.

Betrayal

The term 'deer in the headlights' comes to mind. That wide eyed innocence right before the splat ... and I'm hovering like a fly, waiting for the windshield on the freeway. Mom was that fly. Falling in love with another man because your husband is (allegedly) abusive in Woodstock Ontario in 1967 is a no brainer custody court loss in a small town with patriarchal puritan values and a shunned man on a mission and access to (legal) weapons of mass destruction.

She didn't have a chance. Oh and learning something else. A married man who discreetly sleeps w/another woman is quietly condoned where if the wife is unfaithful? Burn that whore. I struggled with misogyny even as a boy. Yes, Mom left him when I was 10 and Dad snagged then took us (younger brother David) to live with him and an equally tormented new alcoholic stepmom in Stoney Point Ontario for 6 years before I got the hell out of Dodge and returned to my home town in '73. He hated my Mom (and me) for leaving him. Stepmom long gone and Dad defaulting to Woodslee (near Windsor) in an unfortunate set of circumstances.

He stole us in spite, not because he wanted us but because he didn't want her to have her boys. He used us to inflict pain on her (and it worked). Fast forward 30 years. I was months away from 40 and hadn’t seen him in years and honestly? He didn't have any help (deciphering reality from fantasy). Sad. You see here’s the deal … he feels the world owes HIM something because he was left behind - abandoned, and so it was inevitable. Sound familiar? It should. There are 100+ million Americans who think the same way (right now).

Ok, benefit of the doubt ... wait - you can do that? My biggest challenge, being Jim LaMarche's son, was listening to him and trying to maintain some sense of balance. It was torture; that subtle yet articulate (almost convincing) sense of pride in his tone, like his punishment helped him grow up to be a better 'man' insinuating that I too needed to learn to take a beating. I was different than him and he despised that, after all a son is supposed to grow up in his father's image right? What the hell happened?

I guess my point being; toxic masculinity has been around for a long time. Long before Ronald McDonald - Humpty Trumpty showed up and dumped fuel on the flames. That said, Dad grew up during the great depression, then WW2 and his Dad regularly beat him as a kid (and yet Dad chose not to beat me). The human condition is fragile and progress is incremental.

Maybe I'd be no different if it had been me.

Fallout? It's to be expected. It's how we learn.

The Division Bell

We had grown apart and his will to live was being compromised. In disrepair. He didn’t care (never did), a hint of suicide in the air (but would never/looks weak). Perhaps even contemplating how much damage he can do first. I remained distant. I had absolutely no idea what to do ... as lost as he was. His resentment; my legacy. Oh. Speaking of ...

Certain 'traditions'? Must continue. Resistance is futile.

Tapping into people's resentment is an easy game changer, requiring very little work/effort w/the most to gain (politically). This is why it's so popular to the Populists.

RULE #1. Deny & deflect.

Right. So just in case you didn't get the memo. What’s real is no longer important because everything you see is fake news anyway, so fuck it. IF we all get blown to smithereens? At least I will have had the opportunity to make my point. It's all about the collective. It's about what's right. It's about making the necessary sacrifices. This rant mirrors his. What's going on here? Not important. Look (pointing) ... all of our problems? ... are right over there!

'You're fired!' (God, that feels good).

It's chasing brown people out the back door, while crusty old white guys slip through the front (in broad daylight) and clean the living room out.

Problems? NEWSFLASH: their fault! It's magic. The term ‘zero accountability’ comes to mind. Responsibility? Optional. Sarcasm must be embraced and Socialism must be erased because it's draining our potential (that directive conveniently arriving from somewhere unimportant). Zero trust in anything and always w/the people's best interests in mind? Right.

That said; it’s imperative that we all take a good long look in the mirror from time to time and ask ourselves the most important question … ‘so what’s my part in all of this anyway’? Otherwise we’re just sticking our head in the sand just like they are. Feeling compassion for those who are always playing the victim card? Is a real challenge.

"I believe in a vision of equality, justice, freedom and multi-racial democracy,

built on the premise that all people are created equal."

Barack Obama

Drain The Swamp - Harbouring the Hypocrisy

Who knew that it could be so simple, so easy? It was originally about vowing/promising to take on the 'elite power structure' in Washington (ie. Wall Street, The Clintons/Corporate Lobbyists etc.). Then it quietly shifted to 'draining the swamp'; away from the power grid and towards removing/deporting those who supposedly threaten our livelihoods/freedom (specifically immigrants) and no-one even flinched or questioned the switch. Hey. Forget about that - look at THIS! Yet more tax breaks for the rich while gutting healthcare, education & essential social programs. A crime of the century scam, flawlessly executed and all in plain sight. The real irony? Most of those lower in the food chain endorse it (subscribing to the lie).

Hook, line & sinker - welcome to the con.

It's chasing brown people out the back door, while crusty old white guys slip through the front (in broad daylight) and clean the living room out. It's about Kanye West visiting the Oval Office (dozens of reporters) and in an incoherent rant saying "when we make everything in China and not in America, we're cheating our country" while Trump listens, smiles and nods his head. The Trump Collection (fashion suits, shirts, ties & accessories) are all made in China.

They know he's a sexual predator. They know he lies. They know his products are made in China and they know he colluded with the Russians. IT DOESN'T MATTER!

You just wait till your FATHER gets home young man!

The Father, The Son & the Holy Ghost (succumbing to the official narrative) ...

Quite simply put; punishment comes with the territory and sometimes it's necessary (so I'm told). Collateral damage? Whatever. It's just easier to point & shoot first, then ask questions later. Take me back to my Father's values, and to his Father's before that. Make America Great Again. I get it. They took away your freedom and now you want it back. Duly noted.

And so, a new President (and most powerful man in the world) has turned the world into an episode of Jerry Springer; you know the one where 2 women tear each other to shreds while the crowd cheers on “Jerry, Jerry, Jerry” all laughing and loving the shit-show! What’s important here is that I get what I need (and you don’t).

That’s what I mean by entitlement.

RULE #2 - BLAME. Problems? Blame them.

Childish actually. It's like the kid next door visiting, wanting to play with your toy (even though you're not) but you don't let him (because it's yours). Snickering when extending your leg just enough to trip the class idiot walking by in the cafeteria, his lunch tray crashing to the floor. Hilarious. It’s all about learning how to get away with shit without getting caught.

I’m troubled by all this and yet I’m optimistic. History has taught me that greed and narcissism is (generally) short-lived and when it gets right down to push & shove vs. humility, humans deliver regardless of what side of the fence you’re on; looking at the big picture. (Jesus, work with me. Let me be a delusional libby libtard idealist for one frikkin' minute!)

Right - so where was I?

If someone else is in trouble, our first instinct is to help them regardless of the circumstances and that most of what’s going on is just an act, designed to attract attention. This is what needs to be remembered first and foremost, what we have in common (what we share).

That's what makes us not a Democrat or Republican - Liberal or Conservative thinker, but a human being. Wait. What's so funny?

The Suicide Collective

They say that 9/10 attempted suicides are just a cry for attention (cry for help) and maybe that’s what all this is about, only the 'powers that be' care even less now.

Commoners are still being shafted by the elite/wealthy (the owners) in America only in all their blind faith (in voting for Donald Trump), they just jumped out of a frying pan and into the fire.

Hurts so good tho.

for G.J. (Jim) LaMarche - 1925-2002