Friday 19 February 2016

big time

hi there
I'm on my way - I'm making it 

enough about you
let's talk about


a man wrapped up in himself 
makes for a very small parcel.”
John Ruskin 

B I G   T I M E

so much larger than life

"I feel like I'm too busy writing history to read it"
Kanye West

we're so alone as children
growing up in a weary world 
where there is so much tension
my parents were really at odds and I felt it
left out 

the constant fighting - the make up sex
only with another, when he/she
isn't looking

"just go watch TV"
right, Batman, F-Troop and Time Tunnel re-runs
just a kid - no clue

hey shit - I've seen this one already 

every afternoon in black and white
and all before a wieners and beans supper
summer 1966 - wandering

why is everyone so scared?


WTF - whatEVER

that super-hot distraction
been there - done that 
it's my destiny

recreational substances in abundance
all you can eat pleasure

ok, blow-job of the century dude
I had it ALL figured out by the time I turned 17
parents split 7 years - whatever

by the time I was 20 
I was a god

when music came along - it became my friend
I wanted to circumvent the relentless rain
living large - well at least
in my head 

inventing a new position in opposition
it's what kids in pain do
the secret stash

desperate measures
welcoming me

bring it 

there is no limit to what someone 
with a large supply of cash and credit can do

TV taught me that
school - was well, functional at best
zero creativity

in the quest to see our name in lights
 its called validation
that all important stamp 
of approval 

 it stems from our infant years when we are desperate 
for love and attention from our parents

if we don't receive it 
then we spend the rest of our lives 
chasing it in other forms of unattainable attention
in that wet white-wash 


like being a rock-star, prostitute, criminal
even better - all at the same time
playing in some shitty bar for free
just for her approving smile

whatever it takes

anything to get that validation

even blowing a trust fund 
in a bad return investment
or three  

nothing matters anymore
I'm broken - bankrupt but
I can make it


the place where I come from is a small town
they think so small - they use small words  

wanting to be someone - anyone famous  
doing whatever it takes
plastic surgery even
nothing matters

 he's beautiful and talented
just like I am

whatever it takes

making headway - actually realizing something
staking our claim in the absolute abstract
and yet real - for just a moment

that 15 minutes I was promised
a long time ago
it's all I want

and I'll squeeze it
till it hurts

America's infatuation with the celebrity 
that elusive class of elite super-humans
powered by glamour, glitz
and lots of cold hard cash

opulent omnipotence
important impotence

 these mythical creatures 
have been bestowed an almighty status 
indeed viewed as an elite

shadows shape shifting  

a separate species of own making
that fixture in society

adored and remembered

whatever it takes
I'm going there

whether you like or not
whether it helps or hurts you

because it's all that I have
to hold on to

because it's what I need
to feel real

B I G   T I M E

and so, ladies and gentlemen


is the subject of my valedictory address, this evening
looking out into a room of blank faces

but not me
I'm smarter than that
I worked it out

so yeah, enough about you
let's talk about my new selfie

some call it 'classic rock'
I call it classic


so much larger than life