traumatized

“There are wounds that never show on the body 

that are deeper and more hurtful 

than anything that bleeds.” 

Laurell Hamilton, Mistral's Kiss

t r a u m a t i z e d

 

we all have been traumatized

in one way shape or form

at some point in our lives - earlier on perhaps

out of nowhere - incoming

when we least expect it

scared silly
ya, takes one to know one
hiding fear is essential to survival 

quietly consuming a yummy mac & cheese supper
then BAM - like a brick through the window

maybe it was our parents arguing

and Dad losing his shit - the screaming violence

not necessarily physical and yet here we are again

fearful nonetheless - just children - watching
it all go down - helpless

I see it in the animals that we care for

my feral cat bolting after seeing a flurry of coons recently

invading us

out back, when I wasn't looking nearing dusk
laying out on my deck (fading sun) minding his own business
just when becoming domesticated - stable
was starting to feel pretty good
settling - collected 

shock - poof
vanishing

running and running - Jesus! panting for air
getting lost fuck

gone all night, then all day - returning late
totally freaked out - shivering in the shadows
he's back and so glad to be home again

woofing down a bowl of food and a litre of water

in 27 seconds, before resting in peace

in his spot on my cozy sofa - inside
shaking

OK - WTF was that?

chill - "you're safe now
and I still love you" 

right, freedom - not all that cracked up
to what it's supposed to be

and yet  

no animal belongs in a cage  

he is so thankful that I'm still here for him

having been traumatized earlier by them

obviously having encountered raccoons

in the past - and losing
badly 

we can learn so much about our own vulnerable natures

from them - our little friends who didn't see it coming either 
blindsided by the twilight twister

for many it could be that haunting siren

looking up - dark sky - bombs falling

for others, a TV newsflash that a tornado

is just seconds away

and about to take out the entire trailer park

in one all consuming gulp

destroying everything

yes

at any moment we could be dead and gone

for most, it's a reminder
of how fragile we are 

taking shelter
better prepared this time 

bottled water, canned food
candles/batteries

I am convinced now - more than ever

that despite what we see and hear in the news

in what they want us to believe

in what they want from us

that there is a peaceful place for us here

that we can make this all work

only because we must

transcending trauma

is doable

t r a u m a t i z e d


  

and that in all this apocalyptic imagery

that surrounds us

we can still find our way
home again




dedicated to my best friend - Troy