watch the video clip THE FIRST TWILIGHT (below/bottom)
it's an assumption
that fundamentally, we're all equal - embedded in the constitution here in Canada especially - then there's "karma"
then there's reality - the judgements - the walls of shame welcome to the fear factory - centuries of criminal behaviour in a cold con, conditionally condoned & carried on
adverse anomalies creating chaos - abort, alpha one charlie delta fox
I'm going down - mayday - mayday - mayday "requesting an emergency rescue evac - unknown co-ordinates
crash and burn scenario situation - with respect just get your ass into gear - now sir"
I need a healer
fiery flames little chance of recovery vigilant voices - shadowy shape shifters downward spiral - smoking spin - searing reverberation - condemnation into redemption
in this angry apparition approaching
grounded by gravity and grit
blunt force - a loud black thud
silence
she lies next to me - shields down - surrender
darkened room - in port - docked - respite repair only it's a haze - a dream - years ago with her is this real? in our bedroom - early on reaching over and touching my wounded shoulder during intimacy when time stood still - before anything mattered - this a genuine gesture that feels good - caring in weeping war crimes - realizing time is tenuous
and that life is just this benevolent IV drip
and beeping blip on my vacuous ventilator
in this moment - stillness
in her precious presence
"you - are a healer", a simple acknowledgement
spoken quietly in this gift of grace and humility empathy - compassion - deliverance - she receives the message in form no expectation - only loving, accepting resolve - nothing matters only what is right here - right now ... you are everything and you are nothing "shhh - close your eyes now - sleep dear" that caress along my high hair line that soft kiss on my cheek - drifting into my slippery slumber
ah ... home
no attachment - no shame - no pretension - no fallout - no "discussion" no need to pretend and/or hide behind anything no cruel constructions - no billowing blame - no borderlines
when she walks into a room my heart goes bing - bang - boom - "mommy"! waning in my winter - heart pounding - so real OMG
so right there - I could touch her - shivering shaking I feel colder - wait, what's happening here?
yes, we all are conditioned to give and take according to the plan braised on high heat from the very beginning - barbecued beef
deliciously sauced and served with a side of our choice
for some it's religion - for others it's faith
for others it's a simple good nights sleep awakening into resolution and refreshment
I LOVE YOU
fading fast in my final destination
one last thought - in this
distant dissertation
women taught me how to appreciate
men taught me how to dissipate despise, disassemble, distract
