nature's WAY

there's a chill in the air

 

we live in the confines of our environment

it's a beautiful sunny day in mexico in the winter

for a couple of north american campers on vacation

all inclusive - all elusive

tanning in paradise
lotsa booze


oK, amazing sex


crisis? what crisis?
boner service is excellent, thank you
my wife is rotting in zimbobwe  
enough said

this girl is my "assistant"
yep - hot - it's how i roll now 



nature's WAY 
 

    

meanwhile

 next door, there's a typhoon in the philippines

people getting swept under the muck

bacteria levels - through the roof

death is a routine delivery there
mommy daddy gone

it's a broadcast voice on TV
eating KFC ... WTF ... OMFG

"i was just sitting there
playing with my barbie

when the water came in

and flushed us down
the toilet"  

an unfortunate stain
on this imported satin
 

granted, ok - winters in Toronto can be brutal

sometimes we get 20cm of frikkin snow 

on the ground - under our manicured toes

and the roads get slippery - and shit flies

people get mean  - short tempered

and it gets messy

i hate winter

i mean ok - we struggle

dinner is ruined

.

some are more resiliant than others

in matters of the spirit

some take it better

i mean oK

we can fight the elements OR

we can surrender and succumb

moving on - detached

redemption

no contest 

we FIGHT - Spartacus conquers
you piece of fucking shit 

we fight - our favourite sport

masturbation - we fight

ah great release

we fight

for our right to hold on to resentment

for our opportunity to exercise revenge

i dream of it every night because

i hold onto daddy - only daddy is

gone forever

alone again - naturally

  

i've locked old wounds into flimsy lockers

in the back of my fermenting psyche

buried deep in my limbic

promising to keep 

them - secret

i mean - shit

it's embarrassing - and i'd really prefer

to forget about it

only i can't - it's a haunting shadow

that follows me around

the remnants of shame and regret

i'm what - a breach baby
just shut - the fuck up and make it happen
i'm royalty you insipid cunt 

 

king . warrior . magician . lover

door number 3 please
with 100 on the bonus round
and the trip for 2 to los vegas
and the show-girl blowjob
coming complimentary


spin - the wheel 
(audience clapping) 
  

i still hold anger because my parents were fakes

dad way more than mom - at least she cared
reaching for her - gone - ah shit - oK she

loved me - distracted tho, like dad
narcissism extended - dysfunction
incalcitrant calculation 
failing 

it's still amazing to me

as to how some

can remain humble
humility is indeed in short supply

you my friend, are a sage
carrying and dispersing your wisdom
where-ever you go - you grow

and i love you  

walking in the grass with a stick
impervious to natures way
scarred too - and yet
you remain true
on course

you remind me of what i can still do


i can still make a difference in this world
i can be alive and celebrate life
i can circumnavigate
and plan it

i used to be beautiful you know
i still can be

just takes a little eyeshadow
and blush

  
 

i feel optimism

it's in the unraveling of the lies 

do we find our truths

i'm struggling still
my feet are cold
winter is brutal 

wallowing in despair

is a form of masochism

only there is a twisted, addictive

pleasure in it


nature's WAY
 

it's not what or how much we consume
it's how our consumption
defines us

i am consumed and distracted
a delicate balance
i mean, after all

karma aside?
it's all in the choices we make AND 

 

it's the pain that keeps us

alive 



(dedicated to my friend chris landreth) 

my name is luka

i live on the second floor

just don't ask me - what it was
just don't ask me - how i am 

yes, we are exposed to twists and turns
tips and tricks

i am fascinated by this one 

only because i see it everywhere

surfacing on the physical plane
wishful sexual dysfunction

this is the guy from montreal - far left
who recently cut his lover 
up into pieces
and mailed his body parts - express post

i have a theory
 

 

every once in a while

the shadow wants to expose himself

only - because she ever so desperately needs to be seen
this is a stretch - BUT - going there

tornado torpedo - typhoon tsunami
pass the popcorn
and settle back

ok, i'm no rap-star
but perhaps this fumbling prose is a start

it's all in the news - it's headline horror
a chance to be real - out there

maybe it's because i'm crazy

i try not to act too proud

 

 

luka rocco magnotta

they only hit until you cry

after that - you don't ask why

you just don't argue - anymore 

i'm the tormented trickster - my eye on the throne

the displaced lover - throw me a bone

the morose magician - i'll make you see

my twisted sister - on a mission of mercy

playing out my game of russian roulette - in style

using all my available resources for a while
seamless state of the art technology
download me in HD - while i'm still free

having everything and yet tossing it all into the sea
because - i can - no choice now - you have to look - at me

right here - today

my show - done my way 
 

because fundamentally - it doesn't matter

mother fucker - father sucker
i am hearing - too much chatter

and so dear friends and faithful readers

welcome back to yet another erase and rewind

a dance in dementia - a trip down another musty corridor 
(ah so i how miss - the twilight zone)

my name is luka

it's an invented name, but it's what i go by - now

many interpretations - mixed yet always curious

the result in lubricated rotation - carefully cooked - changing
depending on where my moon-mood is - and who i'm with
to some ... i'm gay and to others
ac/dc - what difference does it make
when you're evenly baked

ok, i'm a boy, who is a girl sometimes - flawless form

questionable karma in a perfect storm

am i a boy?  or am i a girl??  perhaps, you will never know

it doesn't matter - just going to make it so

it's a claim to fame
just needing 15 minutes
to launch my name

ok, maybe you still don't get it

i'm red hot

 i am larger than life

i am aphrodite and i am devout

hero and heroine

soon, you'll find out

i'll be whomever you want me to be - make me soft

take me and make me

because i am the one - who gets off

oh yeah
 

i kill things 

animals and people

 give me a cam

just don't ask me - how i am

i am part of something bigger and better

than YOU will ever be

because i am omnipotence personified

click and claim me

i want you to fuck me
before i kill you

my world is a non-linear extraction

in post-nuclear posturing

radiation sperm illumination - powder blue hue

only i am me - and you 

are just you

who is this piece of shit
chinese - extermination eclipsing ecstasy

i'll cut you and paste you, wherever i please

because i have you - on your knees

i can spew your body parts wherever i choose

cause in the end, i win and you lose
it's just assumed

that it's important news
stay tuned

my name is luka

 

i live on the second floor

i live upstairs from you

yes i think you've seen me before

if you hear something late at night

some kind of trouble, some kind of fight

just don't ask me - what it was
just don't ask me - how i am 


(older posts - lower right)

blood of eden

they don't take credit … only gold

i'm not sure i get it yet
working on it

this connection we're supposed to have
with the opposite sex
tis maybe why i'm 56 and single

 

girlfriends yes earlier on
 then married, divorced - drifting i guess
i'm still trying to figure it out

maybe i'm bi-polar

i think, i messed up there somewhere
a momentary lapse of reason
lingering into the middle ages

protecting myself
that useless extended warranty i paid extra for
man overboard

the line growing tight - the premature struggle, then the release
shit - you had it on - hooked - feeling the loss - what happened
distracted for a second - you snooze, you lose
idiot

my grip is surely slipping - i think i've lost my hold

and so my friends

welcome back - it's another quest
for clarification

i find it helps - to just put it out there

b l o o d   o f   e d e n

it's a song i remember
one summer - years ago
made sense in the moment
ringing true

i was distracted - yet curious
the barrage of deceptions

adam and eve and the subsequent fairy tales
 in familiar folklore - the little mermaid
penthouse and playboy
victorias secret

the books, magazines, catalogues, movies and the TV shows
we watched growing up - jaws dropped and wide eyed
in black and white - later in technicolour

how it was supposed to be - all wrong
an earnest attempt at normality
submersed in conclusion

coming out later in real life, in a requiem
last call - maybe later
stumbling into slumber - the recurring images
under closed eyelids - rapid eye movement
sparkling lights
shaking - slow motion


is that a dagger or a crucifix i see
you hold so tightly in your hand
and all the while the distance grows between you and me
i do not understand 
 

i rarely see it work right - relationships
even those still together after years - decades
water under the bridge
cracked yet still standing - celebrated

in this golden anniversary - marking the induction
dads jokes and moms gravy

grace

ah, the institution of matrimony
family

in the gestures of good will
hanging on for dear life
in co-dependence, false security and creature comfort

and yet - maybe ... just maybe, in genuine appreciation
of our cozy counterpart

real love exists - in virtuous unconditional surrender
the purge of narcissism - and the embrace of humility
in remembrance of our mortality
wishing wisdom

timeless
kiss


at my request, you take me in
in that tenderness, i am floating away
no certainty, nothing to rely on
holding still for a moment
what a moment this is
oh for a moment of forgetting 
a moment of bliss

one learns new lessons
inside and outside of the box
no judgements

floating

in quiet reflection - looking out on our setting sun
the early stars in the approaching nightsky
the sparkling lights again - drifting

we are essentially alone - either way
holding - still

regret ... still

there's nothing worse
than missing the boat

i caught sight of my reflection

i caught it in the window

i saw the darkness in my heart

i saw the signs of my undoing

they had been there from the start

and the darkness still has work to do

the knotted chord's untying

they're heated and they're holy

oh they're sitting there on high

so secure
with everything they're buying

b l o o d   o f   e d e n

muZIK for the apocalypSE

and a hymn for the human spirit

hello friends and faithful readers of my blog, welcome back to my perfect storm - (play the clip/track below).  this is a departure from the distractions and the little annoyances we live with every day and a look back into that place we rarely go to anymore because as it seems, there's no time to.  as always,  i'd like to remain optimistic and yet proceeding with caution. survival happens one step at a time.  bad decisions haunt us.  it is in the choices we make that we all too often lose perspective on what's going on around us.  the regrets and the regression. the greed and the remorse.  the cycle of narcissism and that all too familiar aloneness.  we forget ...

it is in the reckless abandonment of our fragile human nature, the politics and the carelessness - the lies and the blame, do we relapse into default;  and yet there must always be a time of joyous reflection - recalling all the wonderful memories that we carry with us every day in this moment that we're alive. the family snapshots, the smiles ... the re-incarnations of times past  - the good and the bad - and a new appreciation of what we have here right now - to the art that inspires us and helps us to remember and embraces consciousness. and so yes - in my humble attempt to be relevant ... so ah ... tis is my muZE - my ...

muZIK for the apocalypSE

 

fade to black -

for those of us who are racing though life, there is always a need to stop EVERYTHING and think about all this on a whole different level. through the images of despair, destruction and doubt that we carry with us if we don't succeed, past the obstacles and chaos, the torture and the torment ... there is light and redemption - and in the end, there is nothing.  

we all fade to black.  so what does the end of life look like to you?  is it sitting on a bench by a placid lake and peering out into a hollow horizon that looks like the apocalypse, trapped behind the borderlines of your own making?  ... or is it about celebrating what you came to know and love?   it's all comes down to this final moment - the choices we make.  forevermore.  that next person you meet for the first time tomorrow ... is this an opportunity to embrace change - to create magic?   or is it just another feeble attempt to delay the inevitable -  because we're just too different - rising to the occasion appears to be in short supply any more.  that "higher power" that everyone talks about?  it's just a myth anyway.  

it's sad ... just too easy to turn away and procrastinate.  back into a peaceful slumber - lost in the cracks again.

.

just a blip -

and so dear readers - the next time you hold back from telling someone close to you, that you love them - because the timing is wrong or you think it's not appropriate?  in the fear that you might show your real hand of cards which is a trick, or that they may just call your "bluff" - retreat - into the warm comfort of false security - into the facade.   just please - think about this ... you may not get the chance again - life is short and there's no time.   we are just a blip on the radar screen - a moment - an all too brief split second, that comes and goes in a flash of light and then slips back into the darkness - and in there somewhere - there's some really special music playing.

it's all in forgiveness and appreciation of all that is in life's remarkable gift.  in grace and in danger we breathe ... it's all over soon - brace yourself.  this is a crazy ride.  dance, love and live!

thank you for reading -

.

.

.

.

(bump up the clip below to 720p - lower wheel 
and turn up the volume / sound)

.

..

b  o  r  d  e  r  l  i  n  e  s

"our bodies shiver but we cannot touch

i never thought i'd need ... you

so much" 

 

composed, produced and performed by jim lamarche in 1986 at spiral studio 

58 phoebe street, toronto on a fostex A8 analog recorder.

fretless bass by dave smith - alto sax by john panchyshyn

(c) 1987 - temple music, toronto

photographs by jim lamarche - paintings by zdzislaw beksinski

email:  jimlamarche@sympatico.ca.