toxiK LoVE

 "baby can't you see - i'm callin"

i need a hit - baby give me it
i love you - ok i love - the IDEA of you

you're sitting there, end of the bar - all the bad tattoos
high milage, bad teeth - whatever - semi sagging breasts
having given birth already - multiple times

dirty, long blonde hair - bare legs
maxxed - hot - cat in heat

kinda wrecked - in a good way

screaming under your desensitized skin

mercy me - just give me one more chance
to show you - what I got 

t o x i K   L o V E

looking my way

in that ready radioactive reactionary relapse

you know - the one that wipes out a whole country

in a single blow - in a single glow

once we make eye contact

that familiar fickle 
fashion frame

frustrated - and yet

jesus - you are beautiful baby - moving in

let me buy you a drink (says she) - maybe more - if you behave

i know you want me (she's thinkin') - i can feel it now

that elevated pleasure pressure

driving across Finch ave traveling west today

crossing Jane street in Toronto

seeing dysfunctional people 

and the odd couple

walking together
sunny, warm
dark skin 

mascara berkas aching to get out 

yet another late September afternoon 
early autumn - 2014

all the women are either overweight or anorexic, ethnic
torn - tortured - twisted - tormented
seriously submissive

yep, she looks tired/sick/abused

and he's lean - a mission machine

they should be hand in hand

but no - they're very separate

no physical contact publically

no shame - no blame

 

oK, i'm thinking - my place - later

listen to some tunes, smoke a j - some beers

and maybe

ok

we bond

maybe have babies
maybe even get married
if that's what's required
i'm wired

karmic collisions
with scars that show in tow
after i give you a good grillin'
you know, like we really meant it
forging our identity destiny in a single evening
of fermented fudgery

depositing my signature signal

so that those in the future
can see what I had to offer
how I rose to the occasion 

even if it was just for show

or perhaps maybe
just maybe

looking up and into something new

remaining optimistic
i'm thinking there's more to life than we think
more than what we're shown

can physically see

i mean - it's just a script

with room for improvisation

visualization

right


?

in the meantime
pass me another
pop-tart




t o x i K   L o V E




it's in the air - it's all around

the reaper

"step into my office"

sit still
and close your eyes

ok, let's not talk right now
just - breathe 
in and out
there you go 

Jesus, you're lookin' good today

t h e   r e a p e r 

it's a concept that's ages old

it seeps out of the cracks

of an ancient cesspool
and into your disturbing dreams at night

often revealed in what whispers
you know - the worm ones

stuck in your throat
pulling them out
throwing them on the floor
and running away from them
because they want to return
and consume you 
and all too often
do

articulately acceptable
certainly accessible

allowed to fester

even multiply

because they got all the angles down

the loop-hole loopster

the tantalizing trickster

ready to 'serve'
right

"bend over ... you're going to like this"

"this is a slam-dunk"


yeah, like that - stand there now
just like that

wow 


ok no guarantees

(and no refunds)

but ok, we got this - "in the bag"
no worries - relax baby
take a chill pill 

yeah, just keep doing
what you're doing here
nice

"I think we can work something out here"

it's all in the creepy conquest

it's the shady lawyer or immigration consultant
(who always looks good - toned, trim and tanned always)

could be an investment broker or a

parent (in sales) at the PTA meeting

who 'likes' you and wants to lend

a helping hand

is all

moving up from behind
sizing you up - checking out
your amazing ass
imagining the pleasure 
composure

always on the prowl

for that next opportunity

to seize the moment
 

deluded, desperate

but cucumber cool

on the surface

almost always a 'respectable' member

of the community - with framed testimonials

on his office wall - italian leather 

and a track record of satisfied customers

in plain view, with all the trimmings

the Armani suit, Piloti shoes - new Lexus

the trophy wife and the vacation home
in an all too familiar family
fumble

regardless - all good
i mean - ok


it's all in the numbers
trapped in the (twisted) tracking
just look at my (fudged) KPI key performance indicators
they're mint

it's all in the stats

 

always ahead of the game

and always on your side
  

"I believe in an America where millions of Americans

believe in an America - that's the America millions

of Americans believe in

That's the America I love"

Mitt Romney (January 2012)

god bless america

it's all in the 'pitch'
those familiar handy hand gestures
formulating the facade
only visible - to those
who have been there
done that

appealing to your most vulnerable 

weakest link

what you see - is what you get

catching you off guard
sinking in the seduction

timing is everything in the art and science
of persuasion 

it's in the robot software 
that parses your words to filter
you into the blow-job of your dreams
once you crack
the code 

and once you're on the grid
detectable by radar - you're IN
congratulations 
then

it's in the small print at the bottom of the contract

ready to be exercised at a moment's notice

the deceptive disclaimer

in a hidden agenda

that only THEY know about

so trust me
i'm really a good guy - really
i have nothing to hide
i'm on your side
really

"no worries ... I got you covered"


your family will benefit
your (smoke-show) wife Trixie, little Billy and Suzie
all on the receiving end after you qualify
after you make this important choice to move forward here
let's do this

it's all outlined in the agreement
and it's a no obligation deal
with a free taco bell meal
for 4 - complimentary
all free

just think of the memories
you'll have

we just need that $500 deposit and your signature
debit or credit - and we're a GO!

i mean geez - does it get any better
than this?

angel milk dear sir
fluffy pancakes, like you've never tasted before 
think - fresh fruit and
maple syrup

dripping




t h e   r e a p e r  




all you gotta do is comply
do this and you'll be glad you did
what was your name again
  
stacked cords of wood
that never get
burned

even in winter 

no real warmth


no worries, just relax
i've got something to show you
hyper-ventilating
switching gears



hypnotize me
feed me

homophobic

my mother says - to get things done
you better not mess with major tom



h o m o p h o b i c



 





1980

i've heard a rumour from ground control

oh no, don't say it's true


like ok - you know i'm not supposed to be out with you
and that if we're seen together - i'm like DEAD
but whatever - sipping on a warm soda
trying to look pretty - toenails
freshly painted pink

in observation
OMG - don't look

but over there - is this guy - in the corner booth sitting alone
he's wearing lipstick - eewww!


growing up in a small conservative town
in the 60's and 70's was so strange
guys were guys - girls were girls
there was absolutely

 no question


it was a time if/when a guy looked the least bit feminine
or a girl looked the least bit masculine

freak-show - outcasts

a haunting decade before playstation
and the internet - before easy access
to porn

ah ya - young minds tend to wander 
so what's it to you anyway?

right - you wanna roll with me - but
you don't want any of your friends
to know



 





back at the booth across from a girl with nice tits
and is lookin' real hot right now

ya laffs - that's Bobby or Bobbi (what he prefers)

"ya, i do that" - exhaling smoke - alley, club music pounding at a distance

"blow, e, love hash - right" 
laughing nervously - long pause - awkward moment

"ok, like you - are so fucking scared right now 
shitting your pants, and that's freaking me out,
gotta go"

the memory flash evaporates
back to Brianna (sag)

headshake - right - back to
reality


don't worry babe - he's harmless
cremepuff - carnival show - crash and burn
fudge-packer - (leaning over whispering) - fucks guys

omfg she gasps before tightening
(yes we said oh my fucking god, even in 1980)


shunning light - embracing night
dreaming of his destiny in a padded room
no quarter

so yep - bonafide freakshow
back to a week ago - outside the all-ages club
on the outskirts of town - where teens mix


so ya - Bobby Bobby - Bobbi Bobbi Bobbi
come over here, a little closer - where we can chat
so - what the fuck actually just happened back there

little buddy?

grade 12, like me
ok OMG
 
he does arts and I do shop
feeling agitated - ah ok - let's just relax
don't pay any attention to him (it)
because that's what he wants
to be different and noticed
for who he really fucking
IS - and
wants you to see 
who you really are too

pathetic
so tell me more

catching my breath
oh yeah - yep, he has friends
freaks just like him - hanging in his basement
parents in absentia - clueless
the whole town knows
what that's all about
except their
parents

always at the casino


they switch houses, but we always
catch up with them

watching







they got a message from the action man

i'm happy -  hope you're happy too

smoking dope and listening to strange music
(bowie and human league mostly)
i'd love to be a fly on the wall
listening to that

not that i'm interested
nope - ME?  not a chance
i'm in total control
of my destiny
sister

just curious is all
what they talk about ... do
truth is - quietly leaning forward
me and the guys?
well - weeze be kewL
(witta Kapital L - ole school)


and all under the radar baby


h o m o p h o b i c

 


i never done good things
 - i never done bad things

i never did anything out of the blue

.


calm down - stop crying

ya we kicked Bobbi's face in a few times
nothing heavy really babe - promise, but ya
always returning to that same booth
after having been bulldozed into landfill
in techni-colour trench-coats

more make-up caked on to cover it
almost daring us to do it again
ya, me and the guys - are cool
(slight twitch)






 



then came 1981
after a decade of gender appropriate
experimental music/art
wondering what was next
never ever expecting
i mean - OK


WTF


MTV - cool ya and - Duran Duran, The Police, Tears for Fears
Bowie - Michael Jackson, Queen, Elton John
ah, so John Lennon dies and THIS?
is what we GIT??

remember the Village People?  barf
prog rock disintegrates - and we get hosed?
fakkin' DISCO?

wait a minute - all these superstars
are fucking freaks, and people
are actually into this shit










time and again i tell myself
i'll stay clean tonight
but the little green wheels are following me
oh, no, not again
 

hours, weeks, daze in a maze
soap on a rope - yes the mind wanders

watching this shit on my TV
getting high over and over
familiar knock - sittin in yer usual spot

rolling a j - looking at me ... "holy shit dude!"

ya,  it's an ear-ring fuknuts!
it's like "cool" now

get over it




h o m o p h o b i c

 


they say great art is timeless 
allowing the observer an opportunity 
to take in something new
every time you 
allow it in


simple - less is more - interiors vs. exteriors
a higher spirit vs. religion


my mother says - to get things done
you better not mess with major tom


so yes, there was a major shift in 1980

like a big wall coming down
from black and white into greyscale
and then into colour - lo-fi to high definition
finally allowed to think

both ways
without shame, blame, games

and - that wandering into a black sky
with my mom - telling me how it's supposed to be
can still be healing

anti vaxxer

safe?  of course it's safe

vaccination

is a barbarous practice

and is one of the most fatal

of all the delusions current in our time

conscientious objectors to vaccination

should stand alone if need be

against the whole world, in defense

of their conviction

mahatma gandhi

a n t i v a x x e r

the tobacco industry led the way 

for 50 years, cigarette manufacturers 

employed a stable of scientists 

willing to assert (sometimes under oath) 

that there was no 'conclusive' evidence 

that cigarettes cause lung cancer, 

or that nicotine is addictive and the masses bought it 

 hook, line and sinker
a marketing miracle

i am compelled to write about this

after recent events, most notably the new California law

which insists that all children going to public schools

be vaccinated, in compliance with a constructed system

where there is no room for debate

ensconced in an ongoing delivery system

that has been set up solely for the benefit of those

who profit from it

the pharmaceutical industry has trillions invested

in such a delivery system having done their battery of testing

only it's mostly superficial - for show

people are almost vehemently/violently polarized

in their views around it understandably
because there are so many mixed messages 

like should I assume a dominant
or submissive position?

we all had the measles as kids

it was part of the landscape growing up - spreading like wildfire

at school, having to stay home for a week

with red sores everywhere, the itching/burning
the cold sweats - tired/no energy
but couldn't sleep

it hurt and - it went away

why?  because our natural immune systems kick in
and most of the time saves us - and if it doesn't - we (god forbid) die

like we're supposed to ... it's a natural order

today (July 3rd, 2015)
I read about the first measles caused death in the U.S. - in 12 years

and so (obviously) now more than ever ...

"this peril is upon us and we need to DO something about it"

OK, tens of thousands die in countries like Africa each year

from various viral infections like the measles
billions spent on so-called rescue remedies
and pious precautions

a no-brainer

i mean, whatever
just give me what i need

i need a fakin fixx
a full-throttle NIN mixtape bungee jump
capped with lots of white powder
in me frikkin head - like right fakkin now

 

ok, what was that?  sorry

my question is a simple one ...

so why does corporate america all of a sudden, give a flying fuck

about people in Africa

? 

like they care?  mmmn thinking - something not right here
the alignment - is out of whack
my hesitation/vexation started 
early on

i remember as a kid (1963), visiting my grandfather (heavy smoker)
in the hospital, having had a stroke
mom, dad, aunts and uncles
all standing around his bed
IN the hospital

smoking cigarettes
all OK - FDA approved
(ash-trays supplied by the hospital yet)

peering around backside - thinking - walls need paint
at 7 years old

grandpa died a month later
pulmonary embolism

whatever
just shut the fuck up
and have a smoke

super smooth
new and improved
trust me

* the figures quoted
have been checked and certified
by Lybrand, Ross Bros and Montgomery
Accountants and Auditors

.


"yepper son, one of these babies will fix ya right up"

the hypocrisy is staggering

and the ramifications are all encompassing

some people reading this will say no-no
"you can't even begin to compare the two"

YES I CAN!
same lies, made by the same people
and - for all the same reasons

.

so believe whatever you want to believe
but there is a bottom line here

we are pawns to the media who are in bed
with all the big corporations who control them

we believe what we're told - even defending the lies
all part of the plan

truth is - there's nothing in mainstream media

around what's really going on

in politics, economics or around the future health

of humankind - here in a flash
then gone

 no, this isn't about Jim Carrey's twitter rant last week

Jenny McCarthy, or vaccines causing autism 

 or ANY of this media/tabloid driven crap

no, this is about what is SO, 

 documented by the Editor In Chief of thelancet.com, Dr. Richard Horton
 

THE most internationally respected medical journal

  who basically spills the beans 

on what's really going on in the pharmaceutical industry

and with the vaccination facade

truth is, i actually believe
that modern medicine (even vaccinations) has it's place
and that a mindful implementation benefits us
only this - has gotten totally out of hand
there's a prescription for everything now
you name it - here we go
side-effects?  we got you covered
no worries

just make sure you have a good health plan at work
 because this (my friend) - is going to cost a fistful of dollars


a n t i v a x x e r


so keep reading the fiction (if you must), but
please read this (link bottom), if you want to know what's REAL
ok, if i was living in america right now
and i was told that my kid had to be vaccinated
in order to 'fit in' to society?

i'd be seriously considering moving to Finland

(maybe it's closer than i think)

Dr. Richard Horton

http://nsnbc.me/2015/06/19/shocking-report-from-medical-insiders/