sounding silence

there's a silence

it's almost anechoic, atmospheric ...
creeping, crawling back into the crevices 
in a delicate unexpected exposure 

which unfolds naturally

it's a silence where one can hear the blood 
rushing through one's head
in that familiar din of chaos and disrepair
in our dissolving
antarctica

late in the game

it's beyond that experience 
of being up north
at midnight in the late summer months
the place where I was born
and lived - only years later

beyond words actually

ok, it's kind of like a thunderstorm moving in 
layering this musty sleeping bag above ground

falling asleep - cool air - gentle waves out there
on the french river in northern ontario
remembering the kodak momento

quiet 
for now 

sitting on the bow of a simple sermon earlier

staring into the unknown
listening

sounding silence

it's a tense sense of peace and tranquility that defies definition

it's a release from the cage
from all the tragedies and injustices 
that persist in resistance

our spaceship "earth"
is in a state of disrepair
who can save us

?

and so here we are

away from abuse

away from a blood thirst
greedy employers who want more

than they deserve
and getting it

far from the pain and suffering

away from everything

that hurts 

flashbacks are flashes of light 
refurbishing a cerebral landscape from a rolling rocker
drifting - a soft sleep that puts one's mind at ease
 dreaming

it's a frosty lens - carefully crafted
to a rumbling subsonic mutilation
rain clatter on a tenuous tent
drifting 

feeling weightless
fumbling in a free-fall, hearing voices
in the vertigo

mommy and daddy

living the Canadian dream

mom getting pregnant early
subconsciously thinking - not much time
she's in haste management - he's in waste management
 

ok, dad's in a perpetual loop - procrastination masturbation
 not ready to engage on any level

that requires any real presence
and yet - despite the pause 
all part of his conditioning

all the appropriate appliances are in place  
a fridge full of cold beer
a late model car in the driveway
and a new black and white
television 

anticipating technicolour 
on the small screen

a job that pays
and three squares a day
lovingly prepared by someone
who is supposed to mean something

dreaming of a new life

free from restrictions

free from the empty promises

of what can never be
calibrated correctly

it's going back

to something that's gone now

finding comfort

in the void

"i’m chasing more ideas
it doesn’t matter here"
 

 

it's in the water, earth ... sky

it's a release that envelopes us and yes

it's a reminder of who I really am

and what I want to experience

in the short time that we have here

it's what I want to remember

when I fade

to black

 sounding silence




and so
a return to the music 
that makes me feel whole again 
yet worth - another listen



"you crossed this line"