Wednesday 5 May 2021

HEAVENLY FATHER


It's a boy's life ...

On October 31 1966 just after 10pm, my mother left my father, taking us to live with our Grandma Batho who lived nearby.  My Grandmother was deaf.  It was a surreal time.  








I instinctively knew that the marriage was on thin ice (even as a kid), but had no idea what was happening that dark & chilly halloween night at 980 Sloane Street Woodstock, Ontario; in the north-east corner of our small conservative city in southwestern Ontario.  A large truck pulled up, minutes after Dad left for work (night shift) as a dispatcher at Overland Express; a new job that he hated, and it was quietly filled with furniture, then poof.  

She took ‘half’ is what she claimed later on but it was more than that … all loaded into Granny’s house to the point where you could barely move on her ground floor/cellar.  Dad came home at 6am the next morning to an abandoned house (his family gone) and I'm guessing that he lost his shit.  What ensued in the months/years to come cannot be described.  I was 10, having had a handful of friends in the neighbourhood - gone forever.

Dad was rarely home, having been a travelling salesman up until a few months previous and when he was home, he was absent.  Spending most of his time (weekends) in the basement alone, drinking and watching a small black & white TV that got 5 blurry channels.  Dad loved hockey.  Hockey Night in Canada on Saturday nights (brought to you by Esso/Imperial Oil), is where we sometimes bonded.  It was all about the Toronto Maple Leafs!  Watching Davy Keon scoring a hat trick was a highlight in our time together.  On Saturday mornings, he drove me to the Perry St. arena to play in the minor hockey squirt league while he watched. I wanted to make him proud of me but I sucked.

He was damaged goods.  Moving from Woodstock to North Bay when he was 14 to become a telegraph operator, some time in the army after that ... alienated from his family early on - beaten by his father as a boy.  Married, kids (because that was part of the drill).  He crashed, drunk in bed (beside Mom late) or passed out on a sofa in the finished rec room downstairs (bar & beer fridge) and whenever they talked, it was an argument. She was miserable.  Dad accused her of flirting with other men.  So what if she did?  Could you blame her?  She was a beautiful and vibrant young woman who essentially lived alone and raising 2 boys on her own (and had the rest of her life in front of her).





Robert Baden-Powell
founder and first Chief Scout of the world-wide Scout Movement




Getting out was her only recourse.  There was a frosty formation in the stratosphere that late spring '66.  Change was on the horizon, especially for women.  Nancy Sinatra's 'These Boots Were Made for Walkin' was a hit on the radio and feminism (women's lib) was just a whisper amongst housewives sick & tired of their husband's bullshit, and yet quietly continuing to comply because rockin' the boat was just an idea too risky to test out.  It's a clear memory.


Weeks later at Grannys, Mom, realizing that I was hurting, signed me up for Cub Scouts which congregated on Wednesday evenings at St Michael’s Church basement on Devonshire (a few blocks from where we lived with Dad) - thinking the social interaction and ‘male nurturing’ would be good for me.  It was a noble gesture coming from a place of innocence and desperation, knowing that it was just a temporary fix, thinking that maybe she might meet a new man who would take an interest in my little brother and me, while providing her with some quality companionship.  


That never happened.  


So right … Boy Scouts; November 1966.  I was to bring $6 on my first visit to the scout meeting, to cover the cost of my uniform & cap which I got (used); all of it way too big for me.  When the scout leader (man) gave me my white scarf (brown leather band), he said that I would get the orange scarf (what the other boys were wearing), when I could recite the Scout’s code “pledge” that I was to memorize for the following meeting.  Reading it (first time that night) on the sheet of paper gave me a knot in my stomach.  


I hated it … this whole preparation for the military exercise just felt rotten.  When I got home later, I cried in bed, not wanting to go back but Mom insisted … telling me it would get better.  It didn’t.










I was introduced to ‘pack mentality’ early on.  Thinking back; it all being part of some hideous ‘survival’ strategy.  Learning how to grow up and be a man kind of thing.  The other kids had no interest in me and stuck together in clumps.  I felt alone and isolated in those meetings.  When I stood to recite the pledge under florescent lights on that second week (first thing on the agenda), I was extremely nervous and forgot the words and flubbed it, even having spent hours memorizing the dozen or so lines of stark prose.  All the kids (about 12 of them) openly laughed and I was told I would have to continue wearing the white scarf until I could say the oath by heart without making a mistake.  


Punishment came with the territory and it was expected.  I wore the frikkin' white scarf for weeks never getting to orange.  A big part of the problem was that I didn’t want to say it.  Something around pledging allegiance to God, the Queen and my country crap.  I was just 10 but could still smell the hypocrisy a mile away, only then it was just a lie.  


The pledge/oath represented everything I hated about my brief Scout experience … promising to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight (something along those lines).  

 

You see, the Scout Law and Oath embodied the joint values of the Scouting movement all over the world, binding all Scouting associations together.  Patriotic Nationalism for impressionable boys.  Such a valiant cause.  The emphasis on “learning by doing" providing rich experiences and hands on orientation as a practical method of learning and confidence building.  Just what we needed.  Small groups working together, building unity and a close-knit fraternal atmosphere to develop responsibility, character, self-reliance and self-confidence, reliability, and readiness; which would eventually lead to collaboration and leadership (or so was the goal).  A program of progressive and attractive varying activities expanding a Scouts' horizons and bonding the Scout even more to the collective.  


Activities and games developing dexterity and providing a fun way to develop skills.  In an outdoor setting, these also providing contact with nature and the environment.  All super healthy stuff right?


Early December, we went on a Saturday afternoon ‘nature hike’ down by the Thames River.  It was cold and wet but that’s part of the experience, obviously designed to toughen us up, learning to make a fire, tie knots and shoot a bow & arrow.  I was bullied by the older boys that day while the Scout leader watched and did nothing.  


All part of the training.  








G. J. (Jim) LaMarche (center)
circa 1944




To this day; “Duty to God" is a principle of worldwide Scouting; Scouting organizations in different nations apply it differently to their membership policies. The Boy Scouts of America takes a strong position, excluding atheists.  Looking back, it’s like there was no room for individuality.  Strength can only exist in the group. Years later and in researching the Scout movement, I learned that it was all started by a British Army Officer.  Robert Baden-Powell in the early 1900s.  Son of a Reverend Professor, launching the Boy Scouts Association first in the U.K. then U.S. then internationally by 1960.  He was later criticized for being a racist, misogynist homophobe and his statue being removed in Poole England in 2020, decades after he died.  Robert Baden-Powell immortalized?  Never to be.  


The birthplace of the Scout movement hanging in shame.  Pressing on.  We must never surrender.




H E V E N L Y  F A T H E R

a covid lockdown production



Today, the Boy Scouts Association is tattered and torn in every colonialized country it’s in and especially in the U.S. where it’s facing extinction; financially strapped with numbers dwindling.  Dad was heartbroken but would never admit it; slowly disintegrating in the years following; living alone in a tiny apartment in Woodslee Ontario for years until he secretly drifted into oblivion in September 2002.  As for Mom, she moved on without him; in & out of multiple empty relationships with men, all basically with the same hangups until she passed away in July 2004.  


That said, she was successful in making her point, that was long overdue ... way ahead of her time.  

That one of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you.







Sunday 28 March 2021

PLUMERIA



I want to be loved ... needed ... 
Isn't that what everyone dreams of





P L UE R I A
volume up, 720p











optimized for night vision



a jim lamarche remix

from the album TWO LIVES
assembled in logic audio and final cut

featuring the roland system 8


choreographed & performed by nastja bremec & mikal rynia a film by giuseppe ippolito



source music: w/callan marchetti














see the ONE LIFE album/page here >>>
http://www.jimlamarche.ca/onelife/

see the new TWO LIVES album/page here >>>
see the new THREE LIVES album/page here >>>


read more of Jim's blog posts here 

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project credits/contributors/links listed below
listen to the youtube album ONE LIFE  >>>  HERE
(play all)


special thanks to GRADO LABS in Brooklyn NY
for understanding how headphones
should be made





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Wednesday 10 March 2021

NORDLAND


it's this dream I keep having
dark drones

I get up, make hash tags of what I've just seen/heard
drop them into text-edit ... save
return to bed and envision them
slipping back into my slumber at 4am
smile, snow, wind ... the familiar echo
from a distant rail

maybe tomorrow I can plant them in youtube
and watch it grow

there's no knowing
what will happen




N O R D L A N D
volume up, 720p












optimized for night vision



growing up, I had 2 dreams over & over again
tornados and trains
volumes

not sure why the thing with trains
a fascination that I didn't want to admit to
but am for the very first time

trains smell amazing
sound amazing
when I later rode on them I always loved it
peaceful, quiet ... reflective
the passing landscapes

people rolling along, from a departure to a destination
on a short path - going somewhere

important


the reason I love this one so much
is because it was effortless

fresh











a jim lamarche remix

from the album THREE LIVES
assembled in logic audio and final cut

featuring the roland system 8


source music: w/colby sixx


train footage by bababouy



courtesy nordland railway
norway










see the ONE LIFE album/page here >>>
http://www.jimlamarche.ca/onelife/

see the new TWO LIVES album/page here >>>
see the new THREE LIVES album/page here >>>


read more of Jim's blog posts here 



project credits/contributors listed below
listen to the youtube album ONE LIFE  >>>  HERE
(play all)


special thanks to GRADO LABS in Brooklyn NY
for understanding how headphones
should be created





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Sunday 28 February 2021

MIGRANT 2



there's a hint of desperation in the air
not that I'd want to disturb anything



M I G R A N T
volume up, 720p














a jim lamarche remix
from the album ONE LIFE
assembled in logic audio and final cut


featuring the roland system 8


source music: shah



see the ONE LIFE album/page here >>>
http://www.jimlamarche.ca/onelife/



see the new TWO LIVES album/page here >>>


see the new THREE LIVES album/page here >>>












read more of Jim's blog posts here 




project credits/contributors listed below
listen to the youtube album ONE LIFE  >>>  HERE
(play all)








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Wednesday 17 February 2021

RENDEZVOUS with destiny



crickets
I'll meet you at the same place
at the same time

just don't tell anyone




R E N D E Z V O U S
with destiny









a jim lamarche remix
from the album ONE LIFE
assembled in logic audio, photoshop and final cut

featuring the roland system 8






read more of Jim's blog posts here 
listen to the album ONE LIFE  >>>  HERE
 














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Tuesday 19 January 2021

OLD FRIENDS



four and forty blackbirds, singing daydreams

volume up, 720p













old friends
the story behind the song


home - homeland
throw your worthless coins into my case



The title track from the album that was never released commercially.  Old Friends (the song) was recorded after I moved to Toronto in January 1980 after a 2 year hiatus from the studio. I was 23.  Acoustic ballads had no appeal to record companies back then, so it wasn't submitted as a possibility for my first album (later on) but I always liked it. No synths/samplers, computers or drum machines back in those days - just my guitars and now a recording studio at my disposal.  I barely slept in the 16 weeks that I was on that government grant.

I got into Kensington Sound, Toronto as an intern of sorts, through a program called OCAP which allowed me a short window to do something in the field in which I was educated.  Best part, is that I was given keys and security clearance, so I went in at night and spent several weeks playing with ideas on my own and this was the first song I recorded.


 

 







One thing that's really cool about being in a studio at 4 am, during yet another cold, late Canadian winter storm in Toronto recording voices when everyone else is asleep, stumbling home at 6 (sun rising) - for a noon callback - beyond that?  ... is that one comes up with ideas that would never have appeared if others were present - making it all more intimate. 

The high voices were recorded at half speed (15ips) on the 24 track analog recorder and then I put them through a Marshall Time Modulator (the vibrato effect), after bumping the speed back to 30ips.  This song was remastered in 2010 with Wave plug-ins and pulling it up recently, inspired to put some pictures to it in October 2015 - 35 years later.  

My best work has always been done in a relatively short period of time.  I wrote this song in a couple of hours before recording it that night in 6 hours (Feb 1980) and mixed it the following night in 2 hours.  This clip was assembled here in Final Cut on October 06, 2015 in 4 hours.  

A 12 hour project front to back.

Turns out I was hired on at Kensington Sound that April, where I continued as an engineer until that June before moving on to another studio ... Captain Audio in Yorkville, freelancing Eastern Sound then Amber Studios on Queen West.  













jimlamarche.ca




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