Jim Lamarche - SAVING LIVES - BLOG/journal: July 2020

resistance is futile - looking in the mirror

that familiar knot in my gut every time I look at myself

Jesus, you’re gross dude every morning, the same
this time I’m going to do it

today, I’m going to transform my life!
I mean - you only live once right

E X T R E M E M A K E O V E R
an inspirational guide to self discovery in the COVID era

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every time I think of you

the rain falls from the sky

Time for the purge, getting out of my comfort zone. Strapping on that parachute knowing it might not open but doing it anyway. Stepping out onto the platform and just jumping off.
No hesitation. The feeling of weightlessness. Now that's what I'm talkin’ bout. What will they say? Seeing me after it’s done? The envy, jealousy … the sheer torture, knowing they could have done it first but no, it was me - I did it first.

I’m feeling better about myself. Thinking maybe I’m long overdue for a change … embracing this rare opportunity to take a stand and show the world that I have the stones to do this.

Real courage - real conviction. Why didn’t I see all this earlier?
So simple.

Conformity is dangerous. I’ve been telling myself this for years but no, I always buy the dark socks. I’m an individual, not a robot. I can’t be programmed to think a certain way anymore, because I’m free. Yes, and that God given freedom means I can do anything I want.

Take this pandemic for example … bullshit. What we see/hear on the media? Totally blown out of proportion. You can’t trust the news any more because it’s fake and I’m no longer subscribing to their stories.  How I choose to think? They have no say in that anymore. If I want to get on a bus or walk into a grocery store without a mask, that’s my right and if they don’t like it, they can take a long jump off a short pier! Loving my new freedom.

It's like the smell of a new car with leather.

Feeling a renewed confidence brushing my teeth, combing my hair - that second look, right. Think I’ll lose the beard today … shave my face clean ya. The beard is just baggage I’ve been carrying around for years. My miniature rebellion where it counts most … on my face.
Gotta go. Maybe I’ll shower and get my nails done.

Maybe I’ll buy a new shirt, shoes … a new deodorant, hell maybe even some spray tan and a 6 pack for later. Do it up right. Living large; I can do that.

There’s a twinkle in my eye and a spark in my step as I put the water on for my morning coffee, thinking about what’s to come in the next several hours of my life.

I’m proud of myself for finally taking this step, for becoming who I really am. Rushing to my computer … gotta get this down - my catharsis is deluxe today and I’m poppin’. Sitting and typing this torrential thunderstorm into Microsoft with the tenacity of a speedball. The delivery exquisite - the intention crystal; my focus in macro. I’m just a conduit, channeling my inner gift to the outside world, not giving one fuck if anyone reads it or not.

This one will change everything though - I can feel it.

Sitting back, pondering my prose - OMG this is it! This is the one that will blow the roof off! It's words and music and pictures - everything. Just a little of this and a bit of that … nip here, tuck there. Oh wait, it doesn’t matter if they like it … right. That’s ok.
I’m doing this for ME - not them.

It doesn’t matter what they think. Got this.

Minutes turn into hours as my masterpiece unfolds … getting better and better. Don’t think, just retrieve & release, in a free-flow stream of consciousness like a misty rain blanketing a northern Ontario lake in late summer. In the zone - uninterrupted. I’m on a roll and have to see this through right here and right now (days later). Whatever it takes. This may just be the best thing I’ve ever done and I’m inspired. I’m omnipotent - brilliant.

What a blast!

The crowd stands and cheers as I walk towards the stage and the cameras follow my every move (watched by millions); stepping up and accepting my gold graciously, Naomi Watts tenderly kissing my cheek then stepping back and claps (with the audience), smiling at me like she wants my ass … holding up my trophy as the room rumbles. The moment I’ve been waiting for all along! A tear in my eye; a wave of acknowledgement to the world - this is it.

Flash ...

Damn. I didn't shave. Cat’s meowing - shit, need to feed the cat. Where was I? Right ...

E X T R E M E M A K E O V E R

resistance is futile - looking in the mirror

that familiar knot in my gut every time I look at myself

Jesus, you’re gross dude every morning, the same
this time I’m going to do it

today, I’m going to transform my life!
I mean - you only live once right

sound up