Friday, 3 April 2020


self reflection is both harrowing and enlightening
 especially when we are forced into it
regardless of what's unfolding 
and how grim it looks?
there's always that pondering thought  
what good can come of this?  
who will we be on the flip side?  different? 

(wishful thinking)

A viral lockdown releases one such reckoning ... an opportunity to look under that rock and see what's been lurking there all along.  Just what's buried in the back of this closet anyway?  Dad's bulb hasn't been replaced in decades and 'wow, what's this?'  All humanity's twisted experiments revealed and all without really having to do anything, except watch. Yes, there is a silver lining.  It shines a spotlight.  It puts humanity's strengths and weaknesses under a microscope and forces us to look - at what's real.  All this stuff he didn't want us to see.

Lockdown - day 19.  April 3, 2020.  I'm gazing into my computer screen like it's a portal into the universe - at all the planets, stars, galaxies and then closer ... at all our space junk scattered in our pious proximity, momentarily blocking the view ... the thousands of large used metal things orbiting the earth - no longer functional.  Who put them there?  Why?  Who benefitted?   What will happen to them?  What will happen to us? 

Contemplating our continuation is a daunting task.  It also requires keeping our eyes wide open and our spirits high.  So this silver lining ... right.  Cottonelle - 3 ply.

the reckoning

A most recent signal is that there is an environmental recovery unfolding.  Who would have thought?  Just staying still for a few weeks and the healing begins - silver lining.  Gas is 63 cents a litre.  No problem with that.  A redundancy in fossil fuel consumption is upon us - a silver lining.  Barely an interest rate on mortgages and loans.  Banks finally saying 'alright already - time to stop taking'.  We surrender.  Like everyone needs to - stand down.

A re-evaluation of the social safety net that supports and protects us; recalibrating our response time and resetting our default settings - a silver lining.  Out with the old complicity and in with a new contingency.  It's only beginning (so they say) and we're out of respirators?  Up until now there was no profit in the preparation.  Scrambling to catch up in our reformed recalcitrance - a silver lining.  Collateral damage yes, but that's the price of progress - yes?  

It's in the news.  There's an abandoned hospital in Philadelphia w/500 beds that stays empty because the owner of the property wants a million a month for it.  Remaining hospitals at capacity and this guy is holding out; dwindling supplies.  The trolls remain.  Plastics and paper products - aerosol sprays and EZ pain relief.  Easy and convenient.  
Just flush and forget.

the resolve

Jesus!  I finally found toilet paper yesterday (a month later).  Are we really that scared, that greedy?  The tide is shifting; a new awakening.  The plan is morphing from out to in then back out again.  We're growing up out of necessity and all because a microscopic organism just decided to walk onto the world stage one day and say, "wakey wakey - eggs and bacey".  

Now they're saying the fallout could last years.  Fuck me.  No swims - no life.  I dream of cool water on hot sunny days.  This silver lining ... I get to dream.  It's all so temporary.

Survival instincts.  Who would have thought?  I'm so thankful to still be alive and I am so grateful to be shown such seriousness.  The time to ponder and the time to express.  I love my life!  Yes, there is a silver lining.  It shines a spotlight.  It puts our strengths and weaknesses under a microscope and it shows us - what's real. 

wishful thinking - ah right ... been there - done that.
sweet dreams 

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